Thursday, January 15, 2009

Note to Idiots

I need to get back in my regular routine of writing these things.
There are so many idiots out there to make fun of...

Dear douchebag in my MBA class,

Please stop chiming in on in-class discussions that you know nothing about. Regardless of what you may think, being a bouncer for numerous skeevy bars is not an occupation worth bragging about in a room full of lawyers, doctors, accountants, and advertising execs.

Next time you decide to open your mouth about the importance of club security and how it somehow relates to marketing strategy (?), just stop for a second and ask yourself: If I open my mouth, am I simply going to provide evidence of my worthlessness to society? Since the answer will most inevitably be yes, it may be wise for you to sit quietly and smile and nod.

Please understand that I have no problem with the career path you have chosen. It is the cocky way in which you assert that your job has taught you about the finer points of operations management, accounting, marketing, and business law among other things that ticks me off. (Especially since you were in my project group in Business Law, and you refused to actually do any work. Have fun taking that class again, jack-ass.)

I always have to wonder if you realize that absolutely none of your MBA colleagues take you seriously. You are a sad, sad person, and I would almost feel bad for you if you weren't such a total dick.

I'm bringing the duct-tape next class,
MJ

Note to Self: Sheesh! Nothing gets my blood boiling like a stupid person.

7 comments:

Maki said...

Oh my god, those bouncers think they are the IT!! Seriously, they thing they rule the world. Funny and so true, MJ!

pure evyl said...

I have been eagerly awaiting a Note to Idiots post. You do them so well.

Sarah Jane said...

The sad thing, and I think we have covered this before, stupid people can figure out 'insert tab A into slot B' so can you imagine little meatheads running around??

Rachel said...

I enjoyed your letter.

MJ said...

Maki - I know, right? It always cracks me up, because I pretty much have my own personal bodyguard all the time...

PE - Oh rly? Well, I will make sure to keep writing them then.

SJ - So true...

Rachel - Thanks!

KPDwife said...

I've missed your "note to idiots"!! This is a good one! There is always one of those kind of people in every class! I know how frustrating it can be!

LOL

Anonymous said...

I think I know who you are referring to... I can't imagine that there are very many cocky bouncer MBA grad students.....

Caitlin H.