Thursday, June 26, 2008

?: Terms of Endearment

I didn't want to hijack a comments page on Colby's blog, but I wanted to answer a question posted to me by Livin: MJ - you refer to him as "my cop" instead of "my boyfriend?"

So here's the lowdown: I have many names for my boyfriend, but I get really tired of writing "my boyfriend" all the time. I feel like it sounds pretty childish actually, like I'm stuck in some kind of strange high-school hell where I should be typing "OMG" and "BFF" all the time. I have more adults in my life introduce him as my "friend," but it goes beyond that. But it's not technically fiance, because there's no ring on that finger yet. Although I have been known to use DBF every now and again, I generally stray from the generic use of "boyfriend" or "BF" or "b/f" or whatever the heck people are using now.
So here are some of the names I do use:

(1) "DBF"
- Dear boyfriend. Like I said, I do use this sometimes; however, I generally save this for my police wives forum. There the use is generally accepted, as well as other shorthand for husbands and other family members - DH , DFH, MIL, FMIL, DS, DSD, etc.

(2) "The Child" - I say "the" child, because he is not technically "my" child, but you must admit that 25-year olds are generally like having five 5-year olds. Lovable, yet hyper. You have to reign them in every now and again. I use to love walking in to where he used to work and saying "Tell him his mother is here." It would make his coworkers laugh, and then he would find a way to get me back somehow. I don't use this one much anymore for the obvious reasons.

(3) "Sunshine"
- His nickname. I've always called him this. When I say I take Sunshine for granted, I don't mean the actual sun. But most people don't know this outside of my really close friends, so I don't use this as his designation online.
and finally...

(4) "The cop" or "My cop" or "LEO" - I have a serious obsession with his job. I think he is the bravest, most unselfish person I know. I know there are tons of stigmas that come with the job, and not everyone is going to think me saying "my cop" is a term of endearment. But those people never see the times I've been to the gun range with him. The times I stayed up helping him study for his exams. The times I reviewed and reviewed and reviewed signals and codes with him until I was blue in the face. The times I stayed up worrying about him when he first got on the road alone. They don't see all the time I spend
listening to him talk to criminals in his sleep. Or all the time I see him upset about something that happened the night before. They don't know the nightmares I have had about him getting hurt. They weren't there the first day he went on the road, and I helped him put his badge on his uniform.

I was not super happy about him joining the force initially, especially in our city, but the day he graduated from the Academy was the day I was most proud of him. When people talk about times when they fall in love all over again... well, that was it for me. I'm not bragging about his job, because what is there to brag about for a job that gives so little for so much in return. So yes, Livin, he is "my cop." Thank goodness he's mine.

Note to Self:
Yes there are other nicknames, but they either include his name or are not appropriate for sharing... What terms of endearment do you guys use for your "others?"


livininsanity said...

I wasn't necessarily advocating the use of "my boyfriend." I merely found "my cop" to be somewhat odd... like, what if he was a gynecologist (my gynecologist) or a probation officer (my probation officer) or a secretary (my secretary)... all would be quite odd when using my in front of the job title when referring to them.

MJ said...

Livin - You weren't the only one to ever ask. And I see your point.

My roommate is a social worker and I always have to catch her when she's in public because she will say things like "one of my mom's is a crack addict." And as people stare, I have to clarify - no not your mom, your client. LOL

K Trainor said...

I think "my cop" is kind of cute, actually. You frequently write about how proud you are of the hard job he does, and to me it sounds like an endearment spoken (ok, written) by a woman who loves him. :)

MJ said...

K - Thanks. There's more love there than you know...

colbymarshall said...

I think Doug is awesome. And I think you're awesome :-)

MJ said...

CM - We think you are kinda neat yourself : )