Top 10 List

Some Top 10 Lists are really easy to complete, like Top 10 Reasons I Like Chocolate or Top 10 Ways to Annoy People. But what about lists that are really hard, or even impossible, to complete?

Hence, I give you -

30 Top 10 Lists That Cannot be Written

Top 10 Reasons to ride the It's a Small World ride at Disney World
Unless you enjoy having an obnoxious song stuck in your head for the rest of the day...

Top 10 Good Things About France not Having to do with Food
Croissants! Oh wait...

Top 10 Smartest Things George Bush has Ever Said
All I have to say is... "Nuc-u-lar."

Top 10 Reasons Guns Should be Outlawed
I mean, banning them from college campuses has definitely worked out, right?

Top 10 Charities Fidel Castro Supports
Little Tyrants International... Castro's all about the kids.

Top 10 Nice Things to Say About Kim Jong Il
Poofy hair? Platform shoes? Throwing his whole country into poverty and threatening us with nukes? What's not to love!?

Top 10 Ways Communism is Better than Capitalism
People enjoy having all of their belongings owned - and taken away - by the government. That's why we have a democratic party in the US!

Top 10 Reasons to Get a Mullet Cut
Business in the front. Strange, hallucinogen-induced party in the back.

Top 10 Reasons Why Microsoft is not a Monopoly
Because they say they aren't.

Top 10 Ways to End the War in Iraq Recommended by Presidential Candidates
Stay there forever or give up. Great options.

Top 10 Diet Pills that Do What They Say They Will
Just take a pill! Don't change your eating or exercise! Right.

Top 10 Reasons Why Oil Cartels Aren't Screwing Us
No joke here. They're screwing us.

Top 10 Grammar Rules for the English Language that Make Sense
"I" before "E" except after "C"? Then something about "Neighbor" and "Weigh"? Were they high? Or hi?

Top 10 Reasons to Emulate Paris Hilton
You could go around saying "that's hot" a lot without anyone slapping you.

Top 10 Ways to Skin a Cat
There is apparently more than one way, but could you think of ten?

Top 10 Soap Stars Who Can Act
"You're cheating on me with my twin while having my best friend's baby? I thought you were a lesbian?"

Top 10 Legitimate Reasons People Don't Vote
"Well he's not my President. I didn't vote for him." That's because you didn't vote at all lazy hippie!

Top 10 Unbiased News Sources
Maybe The Onion. They make fun of everyone.

Top 10 Reasons Owning an Expedition Makes Sense
Do you have ten kids, or three giant ones? No? Then don't blame me and my Civic for expensive gas.

Top 10 Reasons Why New Coke Was a Good Idea
It seemed like a good idea at first, but it ended up just leaving a bad taste in your mouth.

Top 10 Reasons Mike Huckabee Was a Good Idea
See above comment under "New Coke."

Top 10 Wal-Mart Products Not Made in China
I always wonder if all those Chinese letters on things really say "stupid Americans" or "cheap, lead-painted crap to poison your children with."

Top 10 Reasons Why Ron Paul is a Genius
Ronulans speak for themselves.

Top 10 Terrier Breeds That Aren't Hyperactive
Maybe a dead one. Even then it's questionable.

Top 10 Reasons to Love Dirt
Let me clarify: not mud, dirt. The dry stuff that makes you sneeze and makes up the majority of the Middle East.

Top 10 Definitions of the Word "Is"
"It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is." Thank you for making us all feel smarter Bill.

Top 10 Words Guys Can't Turn Into a Sexual Innuendo
She said hiiigh-liiighter. Huh-huh-huh.

Top 10 Good-Looking Pedophiles
I challenge you to find one.

Top 10 Brands of Bottled Water That Aren't Just Tap Water
Two words: Evian backwards. Exactly.

Top 10 Difference Between "Administrative Assistant" and "Secretary"
Besides more space taken up on a business card.

That's all I have in me for now. I'm sure you could come up with a few good ones of your own.

Note to Self: Putting the lyrics of "It's a Small World After All" to a heavy metal riff does not make it more bearable.