Monday, July 4, 2011

Independence Day

Have you missed my Top 10 Lists?
Well, here is my Top 10 List for what the Fourth of July means to me:

Many women wearing star-spangled bikinis, the majority of which should not wear bikinis to begin with.
(9) A ridiculous amount of red, white, and blue images and paraphernalia. See example above.
(8) Children all over America complaining about the burnt state of their hot dog, while their mother replies "You better eat it, there are starving children in China." Then let them eat it mom, sheesh.
(7) Beer. Lots of beer.
(6) The use of the hashtag #suckitalqaeda on my Twitter feed.
(5) Some guy somewhere coming this close to blowing off a finger or two due to fireworks.
(4) More beer and a missing appendage.
(3) Facebook statuses and mass texts designed to make sure you in fact know that it's the Fourth of July and to remind you of why you should be grateful today... because of numbers 1-7, of course.
(2) More prayers going up for our armed forces. And more prayers for our police officers because of the general stupidity they will encounter on this day due to number 4.

And the number one thing the Fourth means to me is....
(1) The sacrifice of many lives so that I can write this blog however I damn well please, and so I don't have to wear a burqa when it's freaking 100 degrees with 500% humidity...

Happy Fourth bloggers!
Note to Self: Now on to the grilling, minus the charred black part.

1 comment:

colbymarshall said...

God. I swear I almost wrote this list. Are you accessing my brain again? When I was at the beach, all I could think was, "Man, it's scary how many people out here are probably setting off fireworks for the first time." Wow.