Thursday, January 22, 2009

Girls Rule...

And Boys Drool! At least that's what me and my friends used to say, before the hormones kicked in anyway.

Yesterday's post got me to thinking about how, when we grow up, we are giving up a sense of childhood innocence and peace for ridiculously bureaucratic lives with the restriction of support pantyhose and the terror of real war and death.
So what if we stayed like kids? What would the world look like? And so, I give you...

The Top 10 Ways the World Would Be Different If We Didn't "Grow Up"

10. Loaves of bread would come with the crust already cut off and every day would be pizza Friday.
9. Saving the environment is easy when you can't drive and you don't want to take a bath anyway!
8. High fashion would consist of scrunchies, glitter, and bejeweled tube socks, and in-style makeup would simply be too much of mom's lipstick and eyeshadow.
7. We could easily make tough decisions quickly with the use of "eeny, meeny, miney, mo."
6. Disputes would be settled with spitting contests and allies formed with Red Rover (Red Rover, Red Rover, send Canada over!)

5. Racism wouldn't even exist. You would only be discriminated against if you didn't have your cootie shot.
4. Any country who acted badly would be forced to sit in a corner and think about what they did. They couldn't leave that spot until they learned to share and play nice.
3. The exchange of money would be replaced with the exchange of baseball cards and chocolate Snack Packs.
2. Every ailment or hurt could be cured by a bearhug from dad or a strategically placed kiss from mom.
1. We would finally end world hunger by giving our unwanted broccoli to all those starving kids in China mom is always going on about.

Note to Self: Mom's spit also works as a heavy duty cleaning agent.


Rachel said...

Funny post!

pure evyl said...

I will always be a ToysRUs kid.

colbymarshall said...

evyl- I used to hear that song in ToysRUs and it used to scare me to DEATH to think I'd ever not want to play with toys, lol

the Grit said...

Hi MJ,

11. Sweet would be an official food group.

12. "No shirt, no shoes, no problem," would be a universal rule instead of a country song.

the Grit

VE said...

Wait a minute...I never grew up and I NEVER wore bejeweled tube socks!

But I do drool. I blame it on the wife...

Gladys said...

Oh and don't forget Mom spit is better than hair gel.

If you had an accident it would be no big deal because everyone else has them too. OOH and naps would be mandatory.

Crystal said...

What a sweet post! :) Made me all nostalgic/want to call my mom :)

Sarah Jane said...

13. Desserts every day. No excuses.

14. To settle MAJOR disputes, King of the mountain would be the deciding game.

15. A cardboard box and a pile of dirt would make life that much sweeter.

teeni said...

Awesome post. I've always loved that Calvin cartoon too - it's one of my favorites and it so simply and bluntly shows how stupid war is, that even the dim witted can see it.

K Trainor said...

Sounds like Utopia to me. :)

mymouthful said...

Very cute post! :)