Sunday, October 5, 2008

When the Munchkin's Away...

Tap, tap...is this thing on? Okay, I'm ready. MJ has been so kind to invite me to guest blog today, and I kept trying to think of something I'd like to post about. Well, the more I thought about doing MJ's blog, I just kept coming back to one thing: being short.

Now, don't think I'm taking a shot at MJ, because I'm short, too. In fact, in middle and high school, people used to call the two of us "munchkins." (Side note: Yes, it's true that I can answer all of your burning MJ questions, but I won't, because she has way too much ammunition to fire back with since she knows just as much about me growing up!) The more I think about this, the more I'm convinced that whether it was meant maliciously or not, it is not a compliment to be called a munchkin. The munchkins were, to say the least, a little strange.



First of all, someone falls out of the sky--in a house, no less--and they celebrate her like she's a superstar (Side note: a very strange, manly-but-still-a-girl superstar). Okay, I get it...the house landed on some witch that was terrorizing their town. But did they not give any thought to the fact that reckless and inconsiderate Dorothy could have just as easily crashed on top of them? Because seeing how many of them were hiding in the nooks and crannies of Munchkinland, by the law of, um, something or other, she should have crushed more than one of them (Side note: I think this is called Crunch a Munch').

The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that they were a little too excited that the witch was dead, a little too okay with the fact that Dorothy came pretty close to making Munchkin stew out of them. So, there's only one explanation for it...

The Munchkins were a cult. They conjured up Dorothy to quash the resistance of the so-called "witch" defying them (Side note: note how we never see this "witch." We only see her feet. They don't show us her face because they don't want us to have any evidence that she was actually a beautiful, perfectly normal person who happened to oppose the Munchkins' creepy songs and plot to take over the world via ankle-biting.)

So, next time you think about calling us munchkins, please remember that you're calling us weird, fanatical, short cult members. I mean, it's okay, just so long as you know what you mean when you say it.

Note to Self: Buy Lollipop Guild t-shirt.

Note to Everyone Reading This: This blog post has been brought to you by Colby over at Spittin' (out words) Like a Llama. Thanks for having me, MJ!

7 comments:

~alison said...

I love it! Hilarity!

K Trainor said...

"Crunch a Munch" LMAO!!!

You know, I always thought there was something...odd...about those munchkins. A cult, you say? In league with the flying monkeys, perhaps?

colbymarshall said...

Oh, definitely in with the monkeys. Thank goodness my own monkey doesn't fly...because if he did, he might have the upper hand :)

teeni said...

LOL. As a fellow munchkin I have to just back you up on everything you said here. However, it is my personal opinion that even if the witch had a pleasant face and all, she definitely didn't have much fashion sense. I mean, c'mon - what was up with striped stockings and ruby slippers? It's one or the other, baby. ;)

Fun post, Colby! :)

Maki said...

What a great way to close this guest blog for MJ.

Funny, funny, funny :D

Bravo!!!

VE said...

Ha ha ha. Yes, I don't believe they even bothered to check to see if Dorothy had a license for operating a house down main street. Those Munchkins...they never were much for details...

pure evyl said...

A few years ago, I was pumping gas and belting out 'The Lollypop Guild' for some odd reason. I looked up and at the next gas pump a midget was pumping gas. Whoopsy!!!