Thursday, October 16, 2008

Note to Idiot

Dear mother who won't make her child shut up,

In case you haven't noticed, you're in a publicly shared space.
Also in case you haven't noticed, YOUR CHILD IS SCREAMING.


I'm not sure if you think it's cute that he's throwing a fit and screaming and crying obnoxiously, but just so you know, it's not. If you're not going to at least TRY to make him stop, please leave the premises so the rest of us can be in peace.

I do have to commend you however for your interesting push for population control. I don't know about other young women, but every time I see and hear a toddler have a hissy, I feel the urge to cut out my uterus with a spork. The phrase "BUT I WANT IT!!!!!!!! MOOOOOOOM!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!" Is the ultimate form of birth control for me.

Thank you from the bottom of my ovaries,

Note to Self: A lot of times, this seriously does make me not ever want to have children, but every now and then I see a cute, well-behaved little boy or girl and the motherly instincts kick in.


kpdwife said...

Nice touch w/ the spork.. lol

Forget using the laser they have now a days... lets go old school elementary style w/ a spork... I wonder how old you are on yours? LOL remember that?

Maki said...


As you already know I have two little girls. I'm really fortunate (knock on wood) that they are pretty good when we're at a restaurant or any public places.. But I am ready to leave the place IF one of them start to throw a fit. That's the only way to teach them lesson and usually it works!!

colbymarshall said...

Can I copy this post and hand it out as a flyer when I go to restaurants? I think it might help...

Significant Snail said...

You know, when my kids were young I took them a lot of places. This made it possible for us to enjoy eating out and also helped them learn about public vs. private behavior...BUT...we left if they misbehaved. They learned pretty quickly what was acceptable.

desireemariecampos said...

I tell ya.. My kids are terrors BUT only at home. Out in the public they behave themselves well unless the littlest one is super tired etc.. But I hate that too. I just want to go over and be Like HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO

...some people just shouldnt breed

SarahM said...

Dear god,
I want babies.
Not teenagers, babies. Then you can deal with teenagers, because you remember they were once cute little babies.


MJ said...

KPD - :D

Maki - Good for you. It's people like you that make me excited to be a mom one day!

CM - Oh yes you can! Or you could just do what my aunt does and say "you shut him up, or I'll do it in my own special way." My mom and my aunt didn't take crap from us as kids, so they certainly have no shame telling other parents to deal with it.

SS - EXACTLY. It only took a threat to drag us to the bathroom to make us stop whining. OR WORSE. To be smacked right there in public on the butt with mom's paddle brush.

DMC - Agreed. There should be a test.

SM - LOL. I hear ya. I was awful when I was a teen.

Rachel said...

It's all in the parenting...these parents need to learn NO and nip it in the bud before they talk.
My son through a fit when he was 1.5 maybe almost 2...I left a grocery cart full of groceries and left immediatly...needless to say he knew what I was not going to tolerate. He tried it one more time in a husband took him to the car while the rest of us finished eating and this bothered him...not again did he act up in public...and my daughter now 3...neva...I think you learn more with kid #2...and she learns from her great brother...but she is determined to get whatever she wants...and is smart well beyond her age...seriously!!!

Sorry a long comment but it drives me crazy when I see this in public...I just wanna smack the parents!!!

Dorkys R. said...

Oh dear Lord, this is total truth!! It's worse when you're in a crowded train and 1) that stroller is taking up valuable real estate and 2) the kid has some vocals on him. Aack!

Or, when that wild child thinks it's mad fun to run all over the damn train swinging from the polls like a monkey and wanting your window seat. Um, no. And parents of said moneky, please stop fawning over their animalistic ways, thanks.

I hate parents who strap their kids to a leash, but maybe sometimes it isn't sooo bad.