Stupid Boys (Not you honey, you're the best)...

So my roomie and I went to Chili's last night for dinner and some post-crappy-workday drinks when our sacred bar area was bombarded with, well, stupid boys.

These weren't your everyday stupid boys. They were the "I just turned 21 and I want everyone to know it, so I drink in public and talk real loud" kind of stupid boys. So, of course, we listened to their conversation and made fun of them.

Some of the things we heard:

"Well my drawer was just slam full of CONDOMS AND SHIT." And yes, that was how the volume of the statement went. We analyzed this. First, he was bragging about having a drawer full of condoms... and shit. We figured the plural of condom meant that he had tops a four-pack of condoms. Plus, we assumed that reason it was "full" of condoms was because none of them were actually getting used. We didn't really want to delve into detail as to what the "shit" could possibly be.
"Man you were sooooooo WASTED!" Okay, at this point I'm thinking, yeah, you probably were. Especially since it probably doesn't take you but one Bud Light and one Jack and Coke before you are streaking naked and passing out in someone's driveway. I know this because none of them had managed to finish one beer yet, and they were already getting louder.

"Yeah I just walked right up to her and said, 'hey, wanna f*ck?'" We imagined he might have actually said this, then we imagined him being slapped multiple times before being kicked in the crotch and falling over in agony while on-lookers burst into a fit of laughter, which is probably exactly what happened.

Well, if nothing else, they were worth a good chuckle after an otherwise crappy day.

Here's a great list from cracked.com of 5 Common Douche-bag Behaviors Explained by Science. This ought to be able to help all you women out there recognize, diagnose, and avoid common douche-baggery. It should also help many of you great guys out there see the warning signs. Should you display any of these symptoms ask the nearest female for an emergency knee in the groin - that should clear it right up.

Note to Self: Talking louder does not make you more attractive.