Starting Over

That's what I've done in every aspect of my life in the past year: new job, new friends, new city, new house, new life altogether. It's really taken a toll on me and my husband mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Starting over. Those words sound like a good idea most of the time, especially when you pair them with some other over-used phrases. Clean slate. Fresh start. Sounds so exciting and liberating, doesn't it?

No one ever tells you that trying to find a new hairdresser is so terrifying that you will practically have an anxiety attack every time this stranger runs a comb through your hair. I had been going to the same amazing woman for twenty years. She knew about every boyfriend I ever had, sent me to prom with the prettiest hair ever, and labored over me and all my bridesmaids on the day of my wedding. How can someone possibly fill those shoes? And don't even get me started on the horror of trying to find a new gynecologist. The thought of someone new poking and prodding my hoo-hah makes me nauseous.

Finding friends is even harder. It's like a strange interview process, where you have to balance being yourself and pretending to like things you really don't to get people to accept you. You will find yourself making goodies to win people over - obsessing over making the perfect frosting for your cupcakes. It matters, dammit. You have to be really careful too. Your mom always warned you about falling into the wrong crowd, and that still applies when you're an adult. Adult friends can be worse than middle-schoolers! You have your drama queens, attention-seekers, misery-loves-company types, annoying people, and just straight weirdos. Not to mention you will severely miss your old friends, who you will make every effort to see, but they will be just as busy as you.

There are some good things about living in a new place. No one knows us here yet, so it's really convenient to not find it necessary to put on makeup (or decent clothes really) to run errands. It's not like we have to worry about running into someone important. Plus, all that mass production of sweets has perfected my talent for baking. I can now make an amazing cheesecake and practically bake and frost cupcakes in my sleep. Moving means you get to purge old stuff and decorate a brand new place. It's also a good excuse to try out lots of new restaurants. Of course, that also means starting a new workout routine.

Starting over. It's been the most stressful thing I've ever done. But it's also been fun and exciting, especially since I have an amazing best friend to do it with. Also, I think, what an interesting excuse to start writing again.

Note to Self: Do not take recommendations for restaurants from thin people.