Thursday, February 4, 2010

Note to Idiots

Dear SUV driver,

I'm not sure if you've noticed or not, but you drive something akin to a small tank. Please do not slow down to three miles per hour to roll over a pot hole or speed bump. If my little Honda can handle it, I think your mini-bus can too. So, unless you are delivering eggs or custom cakes, please do us all a favor and GO.

Thank you,

Note to Self: Oh, and screw you very much for making me late to work yesterday. I mean, did you really have to slow down and swerve around every little flaw in the road?


Meadowlark said...

Oh, I TOTALLY have to jump on THIS bandwagon.

Why, you ask?

Because I DRIVE an SUV. A GMC Jimmy which I love! Somehow they've become synonymous with "the devil" but honestly... with my SUV I can go camping and sleep in the back when Husband isn't there and worries about psychotic crazies in the woods with guns... I can put "stupid head" dog in the back and she doesn't tear up the seats with her unkempt toenails. I can haul pavers for the patio when Husband is working late and we're putting the patio in TOMORROW and SOMEBODY has to pick up the darn things!

Maybe he/she was driving slow because they had a load of pavers???

Just sayin'

-- and don't get ME started on the HUGE explorer/tahoe/expedition thing. now THOSE are overkill ;)

monica said...

Dear little Honda driver in such a hurry. Could you please leave home ( or wherever) in good time in order to prevent your frantic and fast driving.
Thank you
MS - ( surprise: SUV driver..)
... sorry, couldn't resist.. :o))

corporalswife said...

Dearest MJ,

The reason we (SUV drivers) must slow down for potholes, big dips, etc. is because, unlike you little car which sits only inches from the ground, our small tanks sit up high. For this reason, each and every big bump you can cruise over feels like 4-wheeling to us!

Besides, if you make us mad, we'll just run over you little oversized roller skate. :) :)