Monday, March 9, 2009

Will The Real Master Chief Please Stand Up?

I want to thank those of you who left nice words of condolence for me regarding my grandmother. I would like to report that the funeral was lovely, and people had nothing but wonderful things to say about my namesake. (And none of the family killed each other, which - if you know my family - that is quite a feat.) And, of course, we ended the entire event with large amounts of food.

I am now in full-blown head cold mode: coughing, sneezing, sore throat, stuffy nose, headache, and runny nose. I seriously never realized how much liquid could possibly come out of one's face until now. This past weekend, I did my best to counteract my symptoms with plenty of cough syrup, nose sprays, and ibuprofen, along with homemade chicken noodle soup and plenty of down time. It didn't help, however, that I lost a full hour of sleep to daylight savings...

Since misery loves company, my roommate and the cop are also both sick (the cop was first, so there's no blaming me!). The cop and I took a nice walk outside with the dogs on Saturday, but beyond that we didn't spend much time out of the house.

In fact, we spent most of the weekend decimating people on XBox Live playing Halo.

By the end of it, I was so tired of freaking ten-year-olds talking shit that I wanted to throw my controller at the screen. You see, some people actually have headsets that allows them to talk to other players. But really they don't use them to gain some advantage over their opponents. They pretty much just use them to annoy the snot out of everyone. You can hear them cursing with voices that haven't even changed from puberty yet. And when they forget to hit mute, you can hear them arguing with their mom about their bedtime or begging to allow their friend to spend the night.

"No mom! It's MY birthday! I wanna keep playing! Mooooooooooooooooom!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!! I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!!"

And I just imagine all the twenty-somethings online that overhear this bursting with laughter. It really just makes it that much better when you sneak up and melee them in the back of the head with your pistol or tag them in the face with a sticky grenade.

It inevitably brings on more screaming and cursing from them... and more tear-jerking laughter from me.

Note to Self: I'm just sad now that I've been spoiled by the cop having the entire week off last week. And this week, I will only see him two days. Total bummer.

7 comments:

kweenmama said...

My stepsons love to play Halo 3 online. I can occasionally hear a voice coming through the headset, but can't hear what is being said. Once I heard my youngest stepson claim that his older brother had been the one with the controller when he made some mistake on the game. When the older brother came home from work I accidentally on purpose let it slip that younger brother had blamed him. Then we all laughed when older brother tackled younger brother. I wonder what THAT sounded like to others listening on their headsets?

VE said...

A walk outside? It snowed here today. Figures...

colbymarshall said...

Aw, feel better soon!

Franco said...

OMG! i totally miss your previous post, I'm so sorry about your G-MOM ( which could either mean gangster mom, or grandma) in this case it mean grandma.
feel better.

corporalswife said...

Seems like that would make for an excellent birthcontrol method for the late-teens, early twenty-somethings.
Hope you feel better soon.

Stephanie Faris said...

I've never played Halo. We have a wii we rarely turn on. It was great, at first, because my boyfriend's 9-year-old was all into it, but months later, now she's completely over it. Now she wants to make movies and edit them...so we got her a cheapie video camera for Christmas. I don't have kids so this has been my introduction into the fact that their interests pass very quickly...

MJ said...

KM - I never would have guessed you would be a Halo mom, but now it makes so much sense! Funny to think that I may have played online with your stepsons before. Small world, eh?

VE - Totally. It snowed here last Sunday, and then three days later it was 78 degrees...

CM - Thanks!

Franco - LOL, gangster mom? Thanks for the thought and the well-wishes.

CW - LOL. You crack me up!

SF - No kidding. I think it is especially prevalent in girls. I know I get bored really easily.