Thursday, March 19, 2009

Note to Idiots

MEMO

TO: All mothers of girls age 7 to 17
FROM: Supreme Overlord, MJ (OK, I'll stop...)

SUBJECT: Inappropriate attire

Mothers, please be aware that clothing of your daughters should be age appropriate. This means that a t-shirt that touts “I kissed a girl, and I liked it” should not be worn by your 11-year-old, and mini skirts are not appropriate for anyone under the age of 16.

I realize that low-cut shirts are available in tween sizes, but that does not mean they should be bought. If you are not sure if a garment is too tight on your child, here is a handy hint: if they have to wear a thong with it, it is.

Another handy hint: shop in the department store section that is made for your child’s age. If they are 8, they should still be shopping in kids, not in juniors. Also try to avoid t-shirts with sexual connotations for slogans. This simply makes them a target of fantasy for nasty, old perverts.

Makeup should not be allowed on the face of an elementary schooler. They can graduate to mascara, a little powder, and lip gloss in seventh grade, and then into full makeup in highschool. It will not kill them, no matter how much they try to convince you it will.

When shopping for dance dresses for your child, try to avoid the following: low backs, low fronts, short skirts, lots of straps or holes, sparse coverage, and sheer fabrics.

The excuses, “well, it’s what she wanted” or “this is what the kids are wearing these days” are not excuses for refusing to be a parent. Neither is “I can’t control her.” Remember that, until the age of 16, you have to drive them to the mall buy it for them to have it. They have no car and no job.

If you insist on doing any of these things, please make sure you have “the talk” with your child first to stave of any “I didn’t know!”s. Also, please do not act surprised when she becomes sexually active at the age of 11. I will have no sympathy for you.

Note to Self: You laugh because you know it's true. My mom would have slapped me if I tried to walk out of the house in some of the stuff moms buy for their daughters now. Sickening.

14 comments:

Sornie said...

The thing that gets me is seeing anyone of any age (particularly teens) wearing pricey sweatpants with a phrase slapped across the ass region. Juicy, sweet, sassy, slutty, whore, etc.

Lucy said...

When I worked in an elementary school, one of the 6th grade girls had on a tshirt that said "Just Sprouting" on the front. So what mother in their right mind would let a little girl wear that? Sadly, they are out there.

Paul said...

As a youth minister for over 10 years, I have had this conversation (or had female youth leaders have it) with parents a lot. I have often used the line, "Just because they sell it doesn't mean you have to buy it" with them.

The crazy Shaw Family said...

AMEN, sister! I totally feel the same way! As the mom of two girls, I have a really hard time believing that parents with any sense would buy thier daughters this kind of crap. ICK!

MJ said...

Sornie - LMAO. I hear ya!

Lucy - *sigh* You just have to wonder sometimes, right?

Paul - Oh man, I can only imagine. You would think especially that church-goers would get it. But, alas, stupidity does not discriminate.

TCSF - I know, right??? My mom would have sent me right back up to my room to change (or would have made me stay home...).

Samsmama said...

I am so against little girls dressing like adults. Also? Another pet peeve of mine is toddlers/babies in bikinis.

Gladys said...

You left out...

Do not under any circumstances let your 10 year old go outside in booty shorts with JUICY written across the ass. Especially if you live in a high pediphile area.

Danielle said...

Here's a good guideline: If you won't wear it (it's too tight, too revealing, too skeezy, slutty, skanky, trashy, ugly, creepy, etc), why would you even consider letting your kids wear it?? And if you are a mother of an 11-17 year old and you ARE wearing this crap... well... someone should call "What Not To Wear" and report you.

CityChic said...

I couldn't have said it any better. On many occassions I have questioned what the heck has happened. I do not remember growing up and having the option of being able to buy clothing that adults were wearing. Regardless, my mom, and even more my father, would have not allowed it! I can't imagine what is like to raise a little girl in this day and age.

monica said...

Hello there - "found" you through VE. I so much agree with you! These young teens have no idea the signals they are sending wearing stuff like that! Am a mother of a daughter 11, and a son 16. So far there have been no riots.. the baggy pants of the son have though caused some discussions..

MJ said...

Samsmama - Omygosh! I know, right? Everytime I see a baby in a bikini, I mumble "Starting 'em young, eh?"

Gladys - So right. I hate those stupid shorts and pants that have words written across the butt. I do not want to think of your ass as "juicy." Ugh.

Danielle - I totally agree. And this usually is the problem - either the parents dress skanky too, or they wish they had the body of a twelve-year-old so they could.

CityChic - Thanks for stopping in. You are so right - my mom would have killed me!

Monica - Glad to have you visit me! Welcome! Yep, I didn't touch on the guys' apparel (yet), but I feel that if we could get the girls right, they could pressure the boys into something better...

Tulaloo said...

The ass-words are my personal favorite. Because that is an appropriate place to direct other people's eyes for anyone, let alone a 12 year old.

kweenmama said...

Amen to this post. I couldn't have said it any better!

teeni said...

Thank you. It needed to be said. Nice job. :)