Monday, January 19, 2009

True Courage

I embarked on a perilous adventure this weekend - one that made me sweat with nervousness, put me at the hands of someone else's masochistic tendencies, and beg for mercy.

I went and got my legs waxed.

It all started when I got into the shower after the gym on Saturday morning. I stared at my neglected razor and tried to remember the last time I had actually shaved my legs. [Note: HEY! Stop eww-ing over there! I happen to have very blonde, soft leg hair, and it's winter for goodness sake!] I picked up my Mach3 and imagined the bumps on my legs that would appear the next day from the shock. I threw it down thinking screw it, who cares?

As it turns out, I care. About two minutes out of the shower and I was having razor's remorse, longing for smooth legs under my jeans and debating with myself about taking another shower to remedy the problem. Ugh. But then a brilliant ray of light illuminated my refrigerator, where my roommate had so lovingly placed a heavenly sign of grace - a price list from a wax salon nearby.

I had been to this refreshing temple a few times before to rid myself of unruly eyebrow hair, but never had I ventured for anything below the neck. I took in a deep breath, steeling myself for the thought I knew was about to spring forth. I'll just go wax the damn things.

I grabbed my keys right then, dashed out the door, and sped toward my impending doom before I had time to change my mind. Once through the door of the salon, a whiff of coconut oil mixed with pain lingered in the air. My spidey senses kicked in, and I hesitated. But just then a sweet, young girl spouted "may I help you," and that was it. I was past the point of no return.

After checking in, I sat down and tried to take my mind off the inevitable by reading the novel I brought with me. It wasn't long before my executioner, a curly-haired girl named Brittany, came out of her dungeon and called my name. "You ready?"

Ready as I'll ever be.

She was leading me back to her lair of torture. In my head, I was thinking run, run now! But by the time my flee reaction kicked in, she had already closed the door, blocking my only exit. I told her I had never gone through this before, so she offered to start small to keep from shocking me. I shook my head no, and told her just to get it over with already...

And I practically fell asleep while she ripped the hair out of my legs. No, seriously. It didn't hurt at all. Why hadn't I ever thought of this before! And so here I sit, on Monday when I normally would start to see the signs of stubble, with satiny, hair-free legs underneath my work slacks. I promised Brittany I would visit her on a regular basis if she promised not to make fun of my snoring.

So what's the moral of the story, kids? Have courage and you will be rewarded with silky-smooth legs. Or armpits. Or whatever else you wax.

Note to Self: Formerly Fun, a waxer extraordinaire, would probably comment that I was being a total wuss about the whole thing. That's probably true, but I felt like I really conquered something this weekend. Next up, Mt Everest.


DEL said...

Welcome to the dark side! I've waxed the gams a few times and love it but it's just not in the budget right now...

Gladys said...

I'm telling you ladies go to your local Squal-Mart. Go into the men's hygene department. There next to the Rogain and the Grecian Formula just down to from the Razors and Shaving Gel is a little tube of heaven called Magic. It is depilitory for men. Black men use it on their faces and heads. It takes all of 10 minutes and there is no ripping or screaming. This stuff is wonderful and saves you the cost of waxing is gentle on your cooter and will work anywhere you have unwanted hair.

Trust Gladys on this one.

Danielle said...

I used to love getting my legs waxed! Unfortunately, the cost started to drive me away... so I went out and bought an epilator, which is much easier to use than a home waxing kit. I spent as much as I would on a single waxing appointment, so I figure even if the thing only lasts a year, I saved 11 appointments worth of money.

teeni said...

I think anything you can do for smooth legs and get out of shaving is well worth it. And if you can sleep while its being done? Well, that's heaven. :)

MJ said...

DEL - Yeah, I only went because this place is pretty darn cheap!

Gladys - OOO. Thanks for the tip, hon. I might just have to try that.

Danielle - I used an epilator for a long time, but my hair is so fine that it really stopped working after a while and i still ended up with hairy legs.

Teeni - Exactly!

KPDwife said...

I have always wanted to get mine done but the problem is letting it grow long enough to be waxed! Unlike you, I have DARK hair and am not able to get away with not attending to it.. lol. I did do armpits once which I was REALLY scared to do.. BUT, it didn't really hurt and it also didnt' work too well for the same reason as stated above...not enough length..

I am a big fan of laser hair removal! SO WORTH the $$$!

writer chick said...

Hey MJ,
Maybe Brittany has a special touch. I can't even get my eyebrows waxed without breaking into a rash. Not so much pain during as after. Glad you had a fun satiny experience though. ;)

Anonymous said...

You fell asleep? I'm with Annie, I don't get a rash, but, I usually leave the salon with tears running down my cheeks after just having my brows waxed! Glad you had a good experience with it!


Sarah Jane said...

Ok, so I am a wuss princess then...and let me tell you why. For a bridal gift 9 years ago, my boss got me a leg and bikini wax. I needed a wooden spoon to bite, it was awful. I thought I would look all hot and hair free afterwards...nope I looked like I was in hive mode after a bee sting...totally NOT the look I was going for.

I will shave, thankyouverymuch....although I have a friend who swears about Gigi's wax....might have to try the magic stuff....