Friday, December 12, 2008

Bah-humbug.

I know, I know. I said I would do better.
But... I lied. You'll get over it.

I've been a wedding planner on crack this week, and basically set up all my vendors in the span of about three days. Just as I thought I was getting into the Christmas spirit, *WHAM*, a bah-humbug slapped me in the forehead. I think it might be all the commercialism that's getting on my nerves - the lack of creativity and feeling that should be put into gift-giving. It seems like spending money on your loved-ones has become a necessity instead of a desire. And being the really, really broke person I am, this has got me all depressed.

But I'm trying not to let it get me down. My roommate and I are going to have an all-weekend bake-a-thon. I bought some white gift boxes and gift tags, and we will be making mini-cakes, cookies, and rice krispy treats to pile in them as our Christmas gifts this year. A special few people will receive one of my patented two layer, chocolate, dark chocolate chip cakes for Christmas this year.

Perhaps I am just hum-buggy because the cop has to work on Christmas this year. He has recently been switched to day shift though, which means he won't spend all Christmas Eve and Day sleeping and he will be able to spend some time with his family and me in the evenings.

Whatever the reason, I know that many of you are probably in the same mood, so I give you:

The Top 10 Ways to Get Into the Christmas Spirit


10.
Listen to nothing but Christmas music for the next two weeks. This will definitely put you in the holiday mood... or make you a serial killer.
9. Decorate your house, inside and out. Make sure to definitely out-Christmas that Christmas-light-whore neighbor of yours.
8. After decking your house in lights, plug it all in to one of those light/music synchronizers. Connect the sound to a ridiculously huge amplifier and speakers. Blair Jingle Bells as loud as possible. This will ensure that all your neighbors get in the spirit too.
7. Two words: real reindeer.
6. Make sure to send out your Christmas cards!
5. Make sure you know your financial limits, if Uncle Bill wanted a six-string classical guitar for Christmas, but all you could afford was a g-string, wrap your gift with pride. Remember: it's the thought that counts!
4. Take solace in the fact that this year could not possibly be as bad as the last, what with that whole incident with grandma and the ham. Just remember that pigs and peach schnapps do not mix.
3. Consider yourself the luckiest bastard on earth if no one sends you a fruitcake. That's like the kiss-of-death for your taste buds and your colon.
2. Take in the holiday marathon of A Christmas Story. Watch it all 37 times in one week. Double-dog dare someone - oh yeah, I said it...
1. Decorate your dog. Complete his ensemble by allowing him to eat a little tinsel. That way, even his poop will remind you of Christmas.

[Disclaimer: You actually probably shouldn't do any of these.]

Note to Self: Speaking of bah-humbug - I get the pleasure of going to see my pal Colby in Scrooge: the Musical! this Sunday. If you happen to be in the Macon Little Theater area, you really should try to catch it this weekend! Break a leg, Colby!

5 comments:

KarenElizabeth said...

A lot of the presents Im giving this year are homemade... I did splurge on a few people but honestly - I think people appreciate the ones I put thought into WAY more.

thevinylvillager said...

I will most definitely do number two, as I do every year. Well, maybe not all 37 times. But I do watch it at least four times.

colbymarshall said...

Thanks! And I can't out-Christmas light the Christmas light whore in my neighborhood...because it's too insane to even begin trying. You really need to come by and see it- it's a sight to behold.

writer chick said...

It's a little frightening that your mind seems to work in similar ways to my own. Are we related in some distant cousin sort of way I wonder?
Annie

nicedaydesigns said...

Since I've been hand drawing my christmas cards since september, and they are selling faster than I can make them,I think my christmas spirit is well and truely wilted.I'm just hoping my complete meltdown can wait till January and that it doesn't happen this week. On the sad side I have no decorations in my flat, barely any presents bought and no cards sent. I'm a little disorganised this year....oops