Thursday, September 18, 2008

Lofty Dreams

I am short.

There is no denying it. I am really short. I'm about 2 inches away from qualifying for a college scholarship from The Little People of America. Seriously. My mom and dad are both short. My mom's sister is short. Their mom is short. My brother is short. His son is already showing signs of short. Short short short. I can't get away from it.

Luckily, I have been blessed with small features to complement my height, including tiny feet, but it's such a pain, really. Those cute feet of mine take a size 5 shoe. Size 5 shoes should be on the endangered species list. It's almost impossible to find clothes that fit, much less cute clothes. And God forbid, sexy clothes (they don't really make thongs and nighties for short people - thank God for low-rise undies). I can't find a pair of jeans that I don't have to roll up or cut off. An extra five pounds on my frame is like an extra fifteen on a tall person. I want to wear all the stuff Nordstrom send me in emails, like this:

I am constantly getting mistaken as a preteen, although I'm not sure how, considering my boobs make me look like I'll fall forward on my face at any moment. Hostesses at restaurants always stare at me when asking if our party will be needing any kids menu. I've actually had them bring one to me once while I was wearing my college dance uniform. Right. She was a little embarrassed when I divulged that I was in my twenties, thanks.

I can never reach anything, and I feel like such a loser having to ask people to get stuff down from high places. I always hated getting passengers on the plane to put my overhead luggage up for me. I actually had one jackass get nasty and tell me I didn't need to carry it on if I couldn't lift it. (I could lift it, but I couldn't reach the bin, ass. At the time I was young too, couldn't you just be nice to a little girl who needed help? I hope you know I silently cursed you when I got off that plane. Bad juju for you mister bad manners.)

I guess that's why it's nice to have a tall man by your side. (Love you, hon!) But the same poor guy can never get into the driver's seat of my car without adjusting the seat and steering wheel 8 different ways just to be able to fit in the dang thing. And then I get the joy of adjusting it back later, and you know you can never get it back to when you had it "just right."

I think I'm really underestimated a lot of times. People are surprised to find out that I have my undergraduate degree already and that I'm in graduate school. I have actually had people ask me if I were some kind of child prodigy that went to college when I was ten. I have had hormonal, zit-faced teenage boys hit on me at stop lights - revving their engine and making kissy faces at me. Ick. (Is that how they get girls nowadays? Doesn't it show how old I am by using the word "nowadays?") Little do they know, that sometimes I'm packing heat, and it takes all the strength in my body to not point it at them and make them shit their 16-year-old Abercrombie pants on the leather seat of the BMW mommy and daddy bought them.

Sure, a lot of you "experienced" (say: older) ladies will tell me that I should enjoy being short and looking so young. I know there will come a day when I'm totally devastated that someone didn't check my ID before I bought alcohol, but to be honest, I almost can't wait! I want to be able to ask for a beer at a restaurant without being forced to dig out my driver's license. I want to go to rated R movies without the fear of the ticket person asking me "How old are you wittle girl?" and me feeling the vomit rise in my throat. Ugh. I want normal-aged men to hit on me (not for dates, because I am wonderfully attached), but just to feel like I could be "wanted" would be nice.

Long story short (no pun intended), I have gotten used to my shortness. I know I have a lovely power over a certain cop I know who has a thing for me being petite and cute. But I wonder what it would be like to be tall for once.

Note to Self: How tall are you? Guys - do you like dating short girls? Girls - would you date a short guy?


Matt said...

I just realized you can actually feed the fish that are to the left.

what was this post about again?

I was too busy feeding my new best friends.

KPDWife said...

I'm 5'6 or 5'7. I think I'm considered average height. I remember thinking I was tall when I was in school... but now I just feel average.

Same old story though, us taller people wish we were shorter and had small feet! Lots of shoes look so cute on display but when they bring out the same shoe in an 8.5 - its a whole new look.

I guess the only thing you can do is just be happy with what God gave you :)

Dating a shorter guy?? Eh - not so much. Same height? sure. My DH and I still argue over who is actually taller.. lol (its me)

KPDWife said...

What ever happened to your blog review?

Gina said...

This was cute!!

Hey- feed the fish?!?! We can FEED the FISH?!?!?!!?

Sorry... got distracted there.

I am 5'6". I imagine there are some serious drawbacks to being short. AND tall.

That guy on the plane was just a JERK. Wow.

I don't get carded any more.
It's very, very sad.

How OLD are you??? (if I may ask).

I think tall guys ADORE short girls. They really should date the tall ones who always seem to end up with the short guys and can never wear heels again.

Gina said...

I just fed the fish!!!!!!!
That is so cute!!!!

MJ said...

Matt - Yeah, aren't they nifty? Does anybody even use the word nifty anymore?

KPD - I have always felt short. I agree that tiny feet look cute. I just wish I wore a size 6 instead of a 5 - size 6 is everywhere! And what blog review? (If you're speaking of my blogroll, it's stuck behind a tab at the top of the page.)

Gina - :D The fish are neat. Very distracting too. I don't mind telling my age (I'm not that old yet!). I'm nearly a baby at the young age of 23 :) And I too think guys adore short girls (at least mine does anyway).

nicedaydesigns said...

I'm kinda short 5'3,but that's pretty normal for Irish women. My closest friend in school was 6'0 which was very funny as she loves high heel shoes,we looked a very odd pair together. After hanging out with her for years and listening to her complain I never really wanted to be taller. The clothes thing does annoy me though,I have to take up every pair of pants I buy.
If you really want a solution to that I make customised clothes,and do specific orders,, so maybe you might like some of them.
In general I've found that guys love short women(my sister dated a guy who was 6'7 and she is 5'1 and was a size 4 at the time,he loved it)

MJ said...

NDD - Yeah, I had a really tall friend in highschool (I'm only 5'0"), and we used to say that we were each other's yin and yang.

I love your stuff, very cute! You are much more creative than I am. I love the flower girl shirt. If you can make stuff in small measurements (size 4 to 6ish), I am there!

KPDwife said...

the ask and ye shall recieve blog review.

MJ said...

KPd - Oh, it's still not in yet. I think it will probably take them another few weeks to get to me. They'll leave a note in my comments though when it gets done. (The suspense is killing me!)

Maki said...

Awww you're soooo lovely!!!!

I'm 5'4 here and I'm with you on the shoe size. My size is 5 also. It's soooo hard to find cute pair of sandals or heels these days:( Don't you have tough time when you go to shoe shopping? I know you love shoes! They don't make or they don't carry our size at department stores anymore and have to order them online which often times many designs are sold out. WTF??????

BTW, I like big men - I love tall and strong guys because I'm tiny:)

colbymarshall said...

I'm short like you, obviously. After all, people did used to call us "the munchkins" UGH.

~alison said...

I feel the pain. I am 5'1/2"...and note - the 1/2" helps!!!

K Trainor said...

Love feeding the fish. They're cute.

I'm average--5'6", I think.I dated a guy shorter than me once in high school and it was fine. I'm not-so-much on tall men. My hubby (and all the guys I dated) is within easy kissing distance. :)

nicedaydesigns said...

Thanks for your comment! I'll have a look out for size 6(US 4),there hard to come by.As soon as I have stuff in that size I'll let you know! Don't feel any pressure though,cos I had someone else recently asking for that size, so I need to make some small stuff anyhow. If you are seriously interested then just message me your mesurements to be sure that it would fit and I could do some custom stuff for you.

nicedaydesigns said...

About the Irish thing...yeah it is great being Irish,everone in the world loves us,and yes especially Americans. But I think that's kinda nice. It's very funny when I'm abroad,people assume I'm English and are a bit grumpy towards me,but as soon as I say I'm Irish it's all smiles,and maybe even a free drink! It does make me feel a little sorry for the Brits though.

dougsbike said...

Hey wait I rev my motor at you.

MJ said...

Maki - Wherever you are, we need to get together and share shoes :D LOL. I always get all mine from Nordstrom. I have to pay a little more for them because the size 5 is rare, but I love all my shoes!

CM - LOL. I think I had "Munchkin" as my name on my powderpuff shirt.

Alison - Oh, I totally understand. Every little bit helps!

K - Yeah, my poor boyfriend is going to end up with back problems from all the slight bending that he has to do to reach me :)

NDD - That sounds great! I will try to take measurements this weekend and get them to you! Yeah, I think there is just something about Ireland that makes people happy. I have always wanted to go there :D Maybe one day if I finally get there, you will have to show me around.

DB - Yeah, but you're not 16 or driving a BMW that your dad bought you (hahahahaha), and you probably would just laugh at me if I pointed my gun at you. Plus, I like it when you rev your engine at me. That's usually why I do it back :D <3

SarahM said...

p.s. at 5 foot even, i am seriously feeling your pain. serious.

Maki said...

MJ, Yes let's do shoes swap!!! I get mine, too from Nordstrom via online. I also like Piperlime. I'm glad I found you who loves shoes :D
La La~ *wink*

pure evyl said...

Since you asked so nicely: I am 6'0" and my wife is 5'0". I have pretty much always dated shorter women. I have no idea why.

The Incredible Woody said...

So do you do like me and stand a little taller when someone shorter walks by??

Peter Parkour said...

I'm 6'-3" and I love the little ladies. =P My wife is 5'-3".

tooquiet said...

Just came across your blog.
Married 18 yrs to wife who is 5' (I'm 5'8"), and always liked the way the hug fit. Had several taller girlfriends before we met, and was sort of uncomfortable getting close at times.
Plus, it is much easier to sweep her off her feet!!!

Katlyn said...

I must admit, shoes have been my favorite. I used to shop at Piperlime.