Thursday, August 14, 2008

Why Russia hates Georgia so much...

Because of me and Colby.

Sorry to be outing us, Colby, but this has gone on long enough.
You see, Colby and I have been taunting the Russians for a good long time now.

Russia doesn't care much for our rap music and peaches, so for the last few years we've been playing our music really loud and spitting peach pits at them. Every now and then we would pelt them with Vidalia onions, taunt them for their lack of sunshine and humidity, and brag about our cherry blossom trees.

"Sure we have a history of slavery," we yell, "but at least we're not commies!"

"Your economy sucks worse than ours," we jeer, "and ours is really bad!"

"You may have classical ballet," we scream, "but we have
Otis Redding! So there!"

Colby and I have been filling their funny looking hats with peanut shells and sending Jimmy Carter for "peace talks" (aka. "annoy the crap out of them talks").
So, really it's our fault.

But I'm thinking we could settle it over some ice cold Coca-Cola.


Note to Self:
You pretty much got the gist of GA all in one post...

7 comments:

SarahM said...

hmmm... interesting.

i never knew you sweet southern belles could be so antagonistic..

point taken.

MJ said...

SM - Please, hun. No southern belles here... nothing but redneck bitch here...

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sorry, it's hard to be serious after that...

colbymarshall said...

And if we really need to..I mean if things get hairy...we COULD break out the peaches. I'm just sayin'.

Love the new pic, btw.

MJ said...

CM - Peaches AND all that UGA football we Georgians are so obsessed with...

And thx!

the Grit said...

Hi MJ,

My initial theory, which will probably need a substantial government research grant to prove, is that we have women like you and they don't. And, yes, it's most interesting how their fixation on women in the United States can drive their local expansionist tendencies. I'll be happy to figure that out when the Government money starts to come in.

the Grit

MJ said...

Grit - Good point. Yes, we Georgian women aren't called "peaches" and "belles" for nothing :)

livininsanity said...

It's about time you fessed up.