Monday, August 4, 2008


I'm feeling pretty bad for the cop these days.

He's bored out of his mind since he can't really get up and around. Not only is his job an active one, but all his hobbies are too - shooting, mountain biking, camping, working on his car, etc...
The best we could do this past weekend was tap into his love for video games.

While I figured playing a few rounds of Halo would be the ego boost he needed, it didn't turn out as such since I beat him quite a bit (normally, he beats the crap out of me). Perhaps he was just out of practice, because as the day progressed, he got better and started to decimate me before I even saw it coming. But after a few hours of getting my ass handed to me, we hobbled to the dining room for a game of Scrabble where I beat him quite badly.

He's spending his days at his mom's house alternating between sleeping and eating. You can imagine how helpless you have to be to move back in with mommy for a while at the age of 25. But he goes to the doctor today to get it checked out, so we'll hope for some good news and a date for him to start rehab.

I have never broken anything, so I don't know this totally helpless and disabled feeling that he's going through. I am totally out of ideas for things he can do - I even gave him my neglected guitar to tune for me this week. He has DVDs and an Xbox360 at his disposal, plus plenty of channels of awful daytime TV.

Do any of you guys have some good ideas for him to pass the time?

Note to Self:
I'm especially challenging
Mister Manly to give me some good ideas. Since he's the one who tells me that scars and the good stories that go with them are manly, surely he will have some manly ideas for passing away the rehab time.


Anonymous said...

cant he spend his days online lookin at porn like the rest of the men in the world?


colbymarshall said...

I think he should do a guest blog on your computer...that would be exciting to me, anyway. Probably not to him, lol. I'll have a think...

SarahM said...

ooh guest blogging sounds fun.

when my cop broke his shins preparing to qualify for running, he was thrilled to beat metal gear solid on the playstation2. took him a week of NON-STOP playing. lol.
and with suntan lotion, i would sent his hobbly butt to relax at the beach. he will look back at this time when hes able to sit around and do nothing, and miss it, when he has kids jumpin on him after a long day of work..

Porn, porn is a good remedy, and backrubs :)

MJ said...

VV - He could I suppose. But he has no income, so he would have to make due with the crappy free kind. Plus, he's staying at his mom's (who stays at home) so that would be an embarrassing walk-in...

CM - This is an interesting idea. He has had trouble getting on the computer though, because he has trouble sitting up for too long and it hurts to have a laptop in his lap.

SM - I took him to Best Buy this weekend, and he bought a new game. Plus his sister brought him a new racing game too. He should be set on video games. I agree that he should enjoy the downtime while he has it - no matter how boring. Hmmm backrubs...

K Trainor said...

Good book? Puzzle magazines? Rubik's cube? Skein of yarn and a crochet hook? (I won't tell if you won't. Promise!)

Anonymous said...

Hi MJ,

I'll take your challenge, of course.

In preparation for some of the following, you'll need to get him one of those lap trays that has the bean bag thing attached to the bottom so he'll be comfortable while occupying himself.

1. Buy him a clay sculpting set and some clay, then dare him to do a sculpture of you from memory. Sculpting, even in clay, is manly. Sculpting a view of a woman is very manly. Plus, when he is up and about again, you can encourage him to expand on this hobby, as in moving to wood or stone as a medium, which not only gives you a wide range of items to buy as presents, but allows him to play with hammers and chisels on those days when the weather keeps him indoors.

2. Get him drawing supplies and ask him to design the tattoo you'll get when he recovers.

3. Get him a fly tying set and a how to book on the subject. Then describe how you plan on spending the time between the morning and evening rises in the remote fishing cabin where y'all will be staying. Oh, and if you can get him to take up fly fishing, that's another hobby with endless present potential.

4. Take a sexy photograph of yourself to Kinkos and have it enlarged. Glue it to some cardboard. Slice it into a jigsaw puzzle. Tell him you'll be wearing less clothing in the next one, which he'll only get upon successful assemble.

5. Take him all your kitchen knives and a whetstone.

6. Buy his mom a manicure, send her off in a cab, and...

7. Get him a stack of tool and gun catalogs.

8. Get him a book on lock picking, a set of lock picking tools, and some padlocks to practice on.

9. Give him a big pack of copier paper and a book on how to make paper airplanes. Put an empty box across the room and mention that he gets a prize to be determined by how many planes wind up in the box.

10. Tell him someone played a nasty trick on you and ask him to devise a scheme to get revenge on them.

That should get you started. If you need more, just ask.

Mister Manly

MJ said...

K - He's not much of a reader sadly, and I think a Rubik's cube would either end up being thrown across the room or taken apart. Knitting is an interesting idea, but he would probably just laugh at me if I suggested it.

MM - Such great ideas! I knew you would be helpful. I'm going shopping this afternoon for some of these things... I didn't even think of the lap tray, but that's perfect! Thanks!

Anonymous said...

Hi MJ,

Anytime. My best to the cop.

Mister Manly

Anonymous said...

MM said:

"4. Take a sexy photograph of yourself to Kinkos and have it enlarged. Glue it to some cardboard. Slice it into a jigsaw puzzle. Tell him you'll be wearing less clothing in the next one, which he'll only get upon successful assemble."

LIVIN says "Awesome!"

Anonymous said...


That was my favorite too.

Mister Manly