Monday, August 18, 2008

Another day, another government loan...

I start a new semester for my MBA today (I'm halfway through, wooooo!). So of course, that means another government loan goes onto my direct loans account.

This semester's tuition went up (surprise!), and these two classes are costing me just over $2,000 each. Add that in to my already accumulated loans, and I will have a grand total of around $34,000 in school loans by the time I graduate (This is assuming that I will pay my last semester out-of-pocket). Add this to the fact that the cop has got quite a bit of school debt himself, and my looming debt is pretty disconcerting.


So I'm devising ways to make some easy money over the next few months. I give you...


The Top 10 Easy Ways to Make Quick Money


10. BEG. But not just relatives - beg everyone. I'm thinking of going to the one of the local pan-handler hangouts and holding up a sign that says "Will consult for spare change."


9. Provide best friend services. Want a friend to boost your self esteem? Hire me! I
'll tell you how great you are and how you should definitely go for that guy that's way out of your league.

8. Get invited to as many house parties as possible, and dig through the couches for spare change. I've found that couches can be a veritable gold mine of quarters, along with paper clips and unmatched socks.


7. Provide personal shopper services. I would go along with you and be that friend that you really need - "Yes, that does make you look fat... Yes, you are too old to wear that... No, spandex doesn't look good on anyone..."

6. Become a guinea pig for lab tests. Maybe I could get into a good study like taking a pill that makes your poo smell like raspberries.


5. Rent out my shoes. For the picky woman with a size 5 shoe, you can rent any pair from this lovely collection for a small daily fee! Designer shoes, including a pair of Stuart Weitzman's that have only been worn twice!

4. Two words: fountain diving.


3. Do another blog-a-thon. But instead of doing it for a real charity, this time I'll be doing it for the GMOOD Fund - the Get MJ Out Of Debt Fund.


2. Two more words: pawn shop.


1. Become a personal nutritionist. Are you overweight, but you just can't seem to stop eating? Want to continue eating what you want but still lose weight? Hire me! With my patented slapping technology, the food will disappear right out of your hand! You'll probably be hungry, but at least you won't be fat!


Right now my nest egg is looking a little grim. So I will have to find something to boost it soon. I'm thinking of putting my design skills to good use and opening up a CafePress shop. Luckily, I have no other debt to speak of. My credit card balances are put back at zero every month and my car is paid off.

Note to Self:
So what would your ideas be for making some quick cash? I'll go ahead and write here that I don't have time for another job, including stripping, and I won't sell my organs or blood...

17 comments:

Sornie said...

You left out the possibility of selling your plasma. It's a cool $300/mo. and it only takes an hour per week or something.

TheVinylVillager said...

hey 34 grand sounds like a lot,but look at it this way--its about the same as a nice new car. Only 5 years from now you'll still have your edu-mic-ation.

MJ said...

Sornie - Can't. For most of my life I have not qualified for giving blood, etc. because I don't weight enough.

VV - True. And I will probably pay it off at about the time that I will acquire a new car payment :D

Matt said...

oh god, dont even get me started on the horror of school loans.

SarahM said...

sell eggs. 8k a pop lol

just kidding.

i would sing on the subway- in a second.. im on the subway anyway- migh as well sing and try to make a few bucks..

MJ said...

SM - I could definitely make money singing. I could charge them to make me shut up.

Queen Mutha said...

We solved the problem of my husband's student loans by deciding that he will never, ever finish school. So far, he is well on his way. We figure that with him going part-time online, he can manage to keep at it for at least another 20 years or so. I can give him five month breaks, just so long as we don't let up long enough for him to kick into repayment.

This would be funny if it weren't true.

MJ said...

QM - The thought to simply continue had crossed my mind - but for the sake of my sanity (and the fact that I really can't stand school), I'm done.

I may decide to go back after a year off, in which case I could simply have the payments postponed again.

~ alison said...

OMG! Hystercial. My fav is the "get invited to many parties and search through the couch cushions for spare change!" so funny! I KNOW the feeling!!! You can sell those Stuart W. shoes on ebay. Or open a store on etsy.com - if you make any handmade items. Singing on the subway sounds good.

Nanny Goats In Panties said...

LOL!
Hey, how much do you charge for #9?

writer chick said...

LOL you are one funny girl. I love all of your ideas and would you mind if I borrowed them? YOu could also add to the list, cleaning windshields at 7-11's during the morning rush; offer your dog as security help; being a food editor by picking all the icky stuff off children's plates that they refuse to eat, so their parents don't have to - but that's all I got, your list was pretty complete.
WC

livininsanity said...

Rent out your ass. :)

kweenmama said...

I'll hire you to be my best friend. That would be awesome!

MJ said...

Alison - I'm not that creative. LOL. Although, like I said, I may open up a cafepress store and put my design skills to work.

NGIP - That depends on how bad I have to lie :D

WC - Thanks! Don't mind if you borrow them at all. I also thought about adding "sell my soul to the highest bidder" to the list, but then thought maybe I wouldn't get enough for it.

Livin - I wouldn't want to know what other people would do with my poor ass... besides, don't you already have a job? :D

KM - I am totally for it. Will that be cash or credit?

K Trainor said...

Hmmm...thinking. Having a brain fart--what field are you going into?

MJ said...

K - My Master's is in general business admin, but my focus is in Marketing.

colbymarshall said...

well, if I had any of those ideas, I'd be using them, so unfortunately I'm no help.