Thursday, July 24, 2008

Note to Idiots

Dear criminals that my cop has caught,

Please continue to do the stupid things that you do.
Continue to hurt yourself and wreck your car while trying to run from the police.
Continue to incriminate yourself in front of the magistrate judge by blurting things like "I don't sell cocaine! I sell pot!"

Please continue to pee in your pants when my cop obliges your request to take your handcuffs off so that you can "beat the shit out of him."

You keep my cop's job interesting, give him a ridiculous amount of hilarious stories, and provide me with endless hours of entertainment. Thanks.

Have fun in jail,

Note to Self: It wouldn't be so dang funny if it weren't true.


girlydigs said...

It's still dang funny!!

SarahM said...


Matt said...


MJ said...

Girly - Oh, heck yes it is!

Sarah - I know, right? Despite the long hours, overtime, our fear, and their crankiness, there is nothing like a good dumb crook story to make it all worthwhile.

Matt - I know! I wish you guys could hear some of these things straight from the cop. It's hard enough to get him to check his email though, I don't want to know how much I would have to go through to get him to post!

mistermanly said...

Hi MJ,

Give your cop a thumbs up from me.

Mister Manly

MJ said...

MM - Can do. : )

livininsanity said...

Your welcome for all the hilarious stories. P.S. Jail ain't all bad.

pure evyl said...

Nothing quite like an idiot convict for a few good laughs.

MJ said...

Livin - I think you're mistaken. White padded walls means it's the loony-bin, not jail.

Evyl - Oh yes. A nice, deep, "I can't breathe, I'm laughing so hard" laugh.

K Trainor said...

"I don't sell cocaine, I sell pot!"

Priceless! :D

SarahM said...

i cant even begin to tell you the stories that my cop told me today-- old men and women peeing on the street to prove a point at 4am.

TOO funny. And totally makes the worrying and all the other not-so-fun stuff worth it.

MJ said...

K - Yeah it is. It's like the, "but he stole my pot!" defense...

Sarah - So worth it. DBF had a run in with a BB last night. LOL. He said she was reeeeally drunk, but she did everything but grab his ass - poor guy lol.