Monday, June 23, 2008

Slap A Moron Day

I am thinking about starting a new tradition in the US, called Slap A Moron Day.

It seems lately that an overwhelming
amount of stupidity has been running rampant lately. I believe one good, jarring slap could take care of a majority of the problem.

So, I am going to designate this July 1st, 2008 as the first annual Slap A Moron Day.


It would run something along the lines of the Bolivian tradition of the Tinku "punch your neighbor" Festival, only a little less bloody and with more spite.

Festivities will be comprised of the following activities:
-Slapping

-Drinking
-Throwing
-Screaming
-Eating

Please:
-No kicking or punching.
-No slapping below the belt.
-Try to keep cursing to a minimum. We want to keep this tradition kid-friendly.


Suggestions for people who should be slapped on this occasion:

-People in restaurants with screaming children
-Screaming children

-Parents who wonder how their child got pregnant/into drugs/drunk

-People who talk unnecessarily loud on their cell phones

-Drunk people trying to drive/brag/fly off a roof

-Politicians

-Dramatic high-schoolers
-White boys driving trucks and playing rap music

-People who can't drive while using a cell phone

-Any obnoxious coworker


This, of course, is not an exhaustive list. I'm sure my talented readers will be able to think of many more people to add to this list.


Proper attire is necessary. This would include fuzzy or leather gloves for hand protection and, of course, slap bracelets.

The goal of Slap A Moron Day is for the collective understanding that moronic behavior will not be tolerated in the US and that there will be consequences to this behavior, if only for one day out of the year.

Note to Self:
Fellow bloggers, please feel free to fill in any details I may have missed.

9 comments:

Kelsee said...

Hi, I am a fellow PWO. Love your blog, you always give me a good laugh. So here is my addition, drum roll please..............
Negative people, those who have nothing good to say, who always complain, and think the sky is falling. I would love to slap them out of it.... O.K. my little pet peeve, maybe it doesn't qualify. Anyway have a good one :)

colbymarshall said...

How about just anyone who gets on my nerves? They are a moron because they should've known better! ;-)

thevinylvillage said...

Id like to add to the list anyone who thinks the world owes them something.

MJ said...

Kelsee - Hey there! Thanks for stopping in! I agree with your recommendation. I hate negative-ninnies. They're such party-poopers.

CM - Good point. I guess I would also want to slap anyone who gets on my nerves. Although, that would be a whole lot of people. I think we would have to devote a whole week to that. Better keep the list narrowed down.

VV - I totally agree on that one. So, I'm guessing someone will be slapping Hillary Clinton. OOOOOOO! *bu-duh tttcch* : )

K Trainor said...

Oooh! Oooh! Can it be a famous moron? I can think of several in the political arena alone...

Sornie said...

Can we institute a "double slap" penalty for the slapee if they flinch on the initial slap? Please!

MJ said...

K - Of course they can be famous people. Politicians and celebrities generally have a higher percentage of slappable people than the general population.

Sornie - To be fair, I can't impose that rule. But I will impose a no run rule. They cannot avoid being slapped. A double slap penalty will be put into place for this infraction. Post of full rules coming soon.

pure evyl said...

Damn, I am so sorry that I missed the first Slap a Moron Day. That is a great idea.

MJ said...

Evyl - Do not be so forlorn! You haven't missed it yet! It's not until July 1st. I hope you'll join in on the festivities.