Thursday, June 12, 2008

Note to Idiots

So, I'm going to start a new series called "Note to Idiots" that will be devoted to people I witness doing incredibly, well, idiotic things.

Today's note is devoted to the parent my roommate and I witnessed in the Target parking lot getting into the passenger seat of a car with an infant in her lap. Do not pretend that if you get into a wreck that you will be able to hold onto that child. At any speed over 30 mph, that child becomes a forceful projectile.

I really hope that my boyfriend pulls you over. He has known of enough flying babies that he will want to slap you endlessly. As would I. Just last week he pulled over someone who had two small children in the back seat, not even buckled in, much less in a proper restraint seat. They had one car seat, but it was being used to secure some crap they had just bought. WTF? Restraining your child is not only the law, it is common sense.

He absolutely does not tolerate two kinds of people:
(1) Assholes
(2) Dumbasses

You fall into the latter my friend.

Note to Self: As my friend Colby would so eloquently put it - *Head, Desk, Head, Desk*


Sornie said...

Notice that both types of persons have "ass" in their respective description.

K Trainor said...

Oh I can't wait to read more of these! I'll even happily loan you my 2x4 of Reason. Use it in good health! :D

MJ said...

Sornie - Very observant you are. It was either words with ass or shit. I opted for the one having less to do with poopie. Who needs more of that in their day?

K - Thanks for lettin' me borrow that! Between a 2x4 and my loud mouth, I will get some things done!

K Trainor said...

Lookit you wit' yo bad self! 2x4 in one hand, little doggie in the other, wearing a hot tank top with a handsome (I'm guessing) cop running back up. MJ you've got it goin' ON! :)

Aubrey said...

My husband, the MPLT, also a LEO, has a similar intolerance to dumbasses and assholes. I hear about them all the time when he comes home from his shift. His jurisdiction is a medium-sized city that is a college town, a river town, and situated between to major metropolises on an interstate. Believe me, he comes up with lots of dumbasses and assholes.