[Sarcasm]

Dear Colby,

Words cannot express how much I enjoy the fact that you thought about me when tagging bloggers for the wonderfully exciting task of answering these challenging questions. Questions that, I have no doubt, were written by a modern-day Einstein to delve deep into my psyche and pull out the inner-most workings of my sub-conscious thought. I can only hope you will not be attacked by any monkeys or conspiratory roaches today.

Your most avid reader,
MJ
[/sarcasm]
*giggle*

A-ATTACHED OR SINGLE? How do I answer this? I'm not married, so on any legal document I would be listed as single, but I am attached in the way that I have been in a serious, monogamous relationship for over four-and-a-half years now. Semi-attached? Half-single? I'm not sure.
B-BEST FRIEND? Other than the cop that sometimes sleeps in my bed, that would have to be my roommate, Morgan.
C-CAKE or PIE? Pie... wait, cake... no, pie. Pie cake?
D-DAY of CHOICE? Saturday. I don't have to work, and the whole weekend is still ahead of me.
E-ESSENTIAL ITEMS? Deodorant, red permanent marker, sunscreen, Neutrogena moisturizing lip stick, bottle of water, The Screwtape Letters, frilly underroos, and The Offspring greatest hits album.
F-FAVORITE COLOR? To paint my toes - pink; to paint my room - yellow; to paint my car - red; to wear - green; for everything else - blue.
G-GUMMY BEARS OR WORMS? Bears, duh. You can't vindictively bite the heads off gummi worms and pretend they're screaming in agony!
H-HOMETOWN? Well, I was born in Roseville, CA. But I have been calling Macon, GA my hometown for about 16 years now. Cherry blossom capital and the most humid place on the effing planet.
I-INDULGENCE? Is this the cake or pie question again? I love apple pie. And I love my made-from-scratch chocolate chip cookies, warm from the oven. Mmmm.
J-JANUARY OR JULY? January. July is too hot. Plus, January means I'm not tired of my Christmas presents yet.
K-KIDS? FOR GOD'S SAKE NO. I kill houseplants, and not on purpose. Now imagine if the plant's main function was to scream, poop, and eat. I'd probably kill the plant on purpose. I have a dog. That's enough poop for me, thanks.
L-LIFE ISN’T COMPLETE WITHOUT…Chocolate. Love. Good music. Beer.
M-MARRIAGE DATE? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!... I mean.... TBA.
N-NUMBER OF SIBLINGS? One. One older brother. With one very adorable son.
O-ORANGES OR APPLES? Apples. Unless it's a slice of orange on the lip of a glass of Blue Moon.
P-PHOBIAS OR FEARS? Heights. Claustrophobia. Snakes. Failure.
Q-QUOTE? "Life is like a box of chocolates. And if I get a cherry-filled one, I'm likely to become homicidal." - MJ
R-REASON TO SMILE? A cop that talks in his sleep. Surprise flowers. Puppy snores. Not getting pulled over on the way to work. Getting to work on time. Class getting out early. Sunshine.
S-SUPERMAN OR WONDER WOMAN? Superman is obnoxious. I want the lasso.
T-TAG 5 PEOPLE. No. I don't know that many people in the blogosphere. The ones I do know have already been tagged, or I don't want them to hate me. How about, anyone who reads this who hasn't done it already should just do it and let me know when you're done. K, thx.
U-UNKNOWN FACT ABOUT ME? I am extremely afraid of motorcycles (I freakin' had a panic attack on a four-wheeler), but secretly want one. I think I would be sexy as hell in a jumpsuit and full helmet atop a street bike, not to mention all the money I would save on gas. Plus, motorcyclists have this cool society where everyone waves and rides side-by-side even when they don't know each other.
V-VEGETABLES? Are....plants? What do you want to know? I eat them. Um. They're good usually. I don't fear that they will one day take over the world or anything.
W-WORST HABIT? Blogging at work.
X-RAY OR ULTRASOUND? Whatever will make me better I guess.
Y-YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? Macaroni salad. No, I don't know why. Bring it to my apartment, and I will eat it ALL.
Z-ZODIAC SIGN? Cancer. The moodiest of all the zodiac signs.

Note to Self: This is where memes go to die.